Learning how to discipline our children is one of the most important roles of parents, but also one of the most difficult. Healthy discipline for our children makes for a comfortable family environment. Human beings need to be supported in order to feel reassured. It lays the foundation for self-control in our lives. It helps your child to grow up happy and feel good in his/her skin. Positive and effective discipline teaches and guides the child. It doesn't just mean forcing a child to obey.
The way in which discipline is taught to children depends on their age, stage of development, personality and numerous other factors, but there are basic principles to help guide parents.
The Canadian Paediatric Society strongly discourages the use of physical punishment, including spanking.
What are the objectives of discipline?
- Discipline protects your child from danger.
- Discipline helps your child gain control and self-control.
- Discipline helps your child develop a sense of responsibility.
- Discipline helps to establish values.
What makes discipline effective?
- Respect: Children should be able to respect the authority of their parents and the rights of others. If the discipline is tough and accompanied by insults, shouting and humiliation, a child will have difficulty respecting his/her mother or father, or trusting them.
- Consistency: Discipline that is not consistent is confusing to children, whatever their age. If parents do not show consistency in how they apply discipline, the child will have difficulty in complying. Inconsistency, such as giving in to tantrums, can, in effect, reward the child for undesirable behaviour and encourage repetition.
- Impartiality: The child must find the discipline to be fair. The consequences of their actions must be related to their behaviour. If your child throws food on the floor, help him/her clean up the mess. Make sure everything is cleaned before he/she can do other things. Once the mess is picked up, the matter is resolved.
- You: As a parent, you have a unique bond with your child. If you teach your child discipline that is respectful, consistent and impartial, you will have positive and lasting effects on your child.